Tips on writing a zombie evacuation memo

 

One of the biggest risks about evacuating your office in the event of an emergency is getting people to actually evacuate safely. You can send all the emails you want about procedures but like the boy who cried were(wolf) sometimes we hear the warning alarms so frequently that when we really have to evacuate we don’t bother. As a result many BCM people struggle with how to get people to read and learn.

Then last summer I read a preparedness post by the Centre for Disease Control who spun the best practices for traditional disasters like hurricanes and earthquakes into the context of a zombie attack. They wrote: “You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.”

I thought it was brilliant because it got the message across in a funny way which almost guaranteed that the recipient would read (and finish) the post.  Against that backdrop I re-wrote my internal evacuation memo in this zombie style borrowing shamelessly from the CDC (as well as Amanda Ripley and the Zimmerman/Sherman essay “To Leave an Area After Disaster”.) 

I shared the zombie memo with a co-worker to review who reminded me that people here are too conservative and it wouldn’t go over very well. Point taken. So then I decided I would publish it on Halloween but now that the end of October is upon us, I decided perhaps I would publish it for the benefit of the world instead. Consider this a template for your evacuation memo. So read it, take it, borrow it, steal it and share it. Save lives.

Read and steal the memo template here.

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Evacuating the Building Because of a Zombie Infection

To be read in association with the post: “Tips on writing a zombie evacuation memo“.

There are many reasons – including fire or bomb threats – that require us to evacuate the building but it is equally important that we prepare for other threats such as an evacuation because of a zombie infection. You may laugh now, but if you keep reading you may learn a few things that prepare you for the more traditional evacuation emergencies as well.

Imagine for a moment that while at lunch, a colleague is accidentally infected with zombie viruses like Solanum or Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome. You recognize the behavioral patterns of the undead manifesting in the co-worker, and decide it would be best if we evacuated the building before our zombie colleague infects everyone else or eats our brains. So you pull down on the pull station (located beside the four fire escape doors) and the alarm sounds.

Everyone will immediately hear the insert sound of tone. When we hear this tone, JUST GO!

Do not go back to your desk to pick up your possessions or stand around talking to your friends about next steps. JUST GO! (While you may want to arm yourself against the zombie, it is unlikely (and against policy) that you’ll have a machete or crowbar in your desk, so JUST GO!) Besides if there was a fire you shouldn’t be carrying anything in the stairwell. (It’s probably okay to grab your mobile phone so you can contact your family and friends to let them know you evacuated safely.)

Make your way to any of the four fire escape doors on corners of this floor. They all exit onto insert Street. (After reading this zombie preparedness memo, please familiarize yourself with the door closest to your desk, conference room or kitchen.)

Once in stairwell, walk down the insert number of floors as quickly and as safely as you can. Traditionally the undead do not run and have trouble descending stairs; don’t worry about the infected zombie chasing you.

When you get to the street, make your way insert directions to our Designated Assembly Point: the insert description of statue, square or location.

Next, look for your respective Fire Warden/Zombie Warden who will take attendance to make sure everyone left the building safely and/or that no additional zombie infections were recorded. Here’s a current list of wardens by area:

List the names of the fire wardens

After your warden knows everyone made it safely to the assembly point you will be provided with further instructions.

Finally, please make sure you have an Emergency Response Card on you at all times: a business card that illustrates the Designated Assembly Point and includes important phone numbers for you to call in case of an evacuation or emergency. Please ask for an Emergency Response Card at Reception.

If you have any additional questions about evacuations please see (insert your name).

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The Unthinkable by Amanda Ripley

I’ve just updated the Risk Quotes page with a few lines from Amanda Ripley’s book  The Unthinkable. It’s an excellent read for anyone responsible for business continuity planning, risk management or even if your are just the fire warden on your floor or worry about what to do when you are caught in a huge crowd.

I organized the evacuation drill on my floor last Fall. Despite training half-a-dozen fire wardens, putting up signs, emailing all 130 staff a few times before the event, I think fewer than 5% actually made it to the recovery site. I recognize that it was raining and we were about 30 floors up, but there was no excuse for that weak effort.

Ripley describes the ways that people behave and think in an emergency (e.g., evacuating a banquet hall during a fire or the WTC on September 11, 2001) and explains why some people panic while others freeze.

My takeaway: training (doing) is the most important thing. Ripley writes on page 49:  “The best warnings are like the best ads: consistent, easily understood, specific, frequently repeated, personal, accurate, and targeted.” Despite my communication efforts, unless I can make people really evacuate and really walk down the stairs before the catastrophe strikes, when a real event occurs, I fear everyone will probably perish (except me because I am gonna be so outta there…)

Again: risk management is important, we just dont have time for it.

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